Baby Steps

My baby is growing up. I am not usually a very sentimental mom. I feel embarrassed about emotion a lot of the time and try to keep tears and sappy words at bay, but...I think Norah is now fully weaned. No more breastfeeding. No more snuggling before bed and in the middle of the night. She is such a big girl. She sleeps through the night and greets me with a "hi" in the morning. There is nothing I can do for her that no one else can now. Which in a way is a relief (we can leave her for overnights and long days with Nana) and in another way makes me really sad. I know I am still so special to her but she has reached that next milestone on the path to independence. And that is making me sentimental and sappy and teary.

Breastfeeding was so hard for the 2 of us. It took months before it was "natural". I cried a lot when feeding her in those early days. Sometimes out of exhaustion, sometimes from frustration, but most of the time from physical pain. I can't count the number of times I said to Jared, "If this doesn't get better by Friday, I'm quiting. I often felt I was doing it for him and others until the day he gave me "permission" to quit if it was ruining my relationship with my baby. That day I realized I wanted this to work for Norah and I. And it did. Finally. I am so glad we stuck it out for so many reasons. It is free, convenient, so healthy, and such a bonding experience. And now it's over.

It would be easy to be totally sad except with this new independence comes a daughter who can find her shoes when I ask, give me a hug and a kiss upon request, and who is a bit crazy and always making me laugh.

So baby girl, let's grow up together. You can take this next step, but know I am always here to comfort you like no one else can.

Let's not grow up too fast though...ok?