Being a Mom is HARD!
For the past 2 nights my children have alternated waking from 9:30 until about 2 in the morning. Joshua wakes and needs comforting. Norah wakes because she is itchy. Joshua wakes because he wants to eat. Norah screams and cannot be consoled.
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When we finally do fall asleep at 2, my heart is beating too fast and furious for the middle of the night, my jaw is clenched tight, and my body is tense from anticipating the next scream. I have lotioned, rocked, shushed, fed, consoled, carried, prayed and given up. I have rallied, hoped, loved, trudged on and given myself a pep talk.
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The day after is usually not much better. I firmly believe good sleep is the foundation for good heath and happy attitudes. It makes sense then that bad sleep leads to sickness and grumpiness. Bad sleep also has me re-evaluating my mothering. Today I researched eczema (AGAIN), bought another lotion and sleep suit, decided that baby needs to stop being swaddled because it can't be good for his development. Tried to put him down a different way. Had 15 minutes of success without the tight swaddle - almost cried when he woke and screamed for hours. Researched swaddling and read it is just fine if that is what your baby needs. Gave him a break outside. Swaddled and put him down the "old" way. He sleeps on.
Moms, why do we question ourselves? Why do we feel the need to change what is working because someone said, or we read, or....? Why, when things are challenging in my house, do I make the false assumption that other people's babies sleep through the night and are happy all day or other people's preschoolers are more compliant.
Here is the truth:
-Mothering is Hard
-When it comes to our children, we know better than any book or internet article
-If it is working for you, leave it be! They won't need that swaddle / blanket / pacifier / routine / song / cuddle / snack / fan / bottle / boob / background noise / stuffed animal forever. Babies and kids grow up.
-When they do grow up, I've heard we miss this
-It's ok to wig out once in awhile. That is why we have husbands / girlfriends / mothers / mother-in-laws / mentors / neighbors
Isaiah 40:11 says, "He tends his flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart; he gently leads those that have young."
He gently leads those of us who have young. Gently. Because it is hard and we are weary.
I'm so glad you're back, Michelle. Your mom mentioned that you were blogging again, but thought you'd changed the blog name. Thank you for posting on Facebook so I'd know to read this. I 100% agree that sleep is essential for a human being to function with a good attitude. I don't have any answers for you except...be patient. I love your closing line. Be as gentle with yourself as God is with you. Love you, my friend.
ReplyDeleteMy eyes are watering (I'll pretend it's allergies!) at your true honest glimpse into this crazy life we lead and love (most of the time). You are so eloquent with your words and so honest with sharing your heart and I'm encouraged and inspired. I wish I was closer and could take over for an hour so you could take a nap (cause sometimes someone else's exhausting children are a novelty and somehow not as exhausting as our own). And although I'm sure you don't feel it right now smack in the middle, you have a great attitude. Just the fact that you are honestly acknowledging just how crazy and hard it is, shows what an amazing mommy you are. And you are so right . . . we will miss them and the stage they're in will not last forever!! Thank you for blogging so candidly what so many of us feel!
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