Diminishing Joy

I found it really easy as a child to be joyful. Even into high school and my early college years I was pretty unshakable. Not a lot got me down. I think I had fairly good self esteem, I had a lot of friends, things were stable yet exciting...Now I am an adult (I guess), with a husband, a child, belly fat that won't go away, a small business, a mortgage and a backyard that is threating to be classified as a jungle here in a few days. I worry about stupid things, and for the first time in my life I wonder if the "cool girls" like me. I wake up in the morning and rush through a shower to get downstairs in time to have a few minutes to myself before my baby wakes up. As soon as she is up, my day consists of strollers, parks, packing an entire bag of tricks just to go to Costco and realizing at 6:00 that I have no clue what we are having for dinner. I go between feeling bad for not giving anyone or anything in my life 100% and feeling bad for myself because I don't get to do what I want when I want it! And...It has to stop! It my moments of clarity and calm, I can't count the amount of blessings in my life. I am often overwhelmed, sometimes to the point of tears, at all God has given me. These joys need to be written down and dwelt on before I allow a bitter root to grow in my life.

I have to admit, I have been thinking of starting a blog for awhile now and a few things have stopped me:

-I am a fairly private person and am not sure what I think about putting my struggles and joys out there for the world to see.

-I don't want to fail at this. I don't really need one more thing that I just "kinda" do.

-I feel as if a blog should have a degree of continuity and I am not sure I have the energy to make that happen.

And to all those worries I guess I say, "Let's not over think this. Let's just use this blog as a place to give glory to God and His provisions. Let's stamp out blah with the acknowledgement of blessings."

Joy for Today:

* I had a really pretty drive through Alberta country today

* My daughter loves spending time with her Aunt Janessa and Nana and they are really generous with their time; giving me precious moments to myself

*We have no plans tonight and that feels good

* A new friend wrote something really encouraging to me and it is bringing me up today

*It is raining which makes me happy for the farmers around here who depend on rain for their livelihoods

Oh, and one last note as we get started here - I don't always plan on matching my pictures up with my musings. That sounds like work...